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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?